At church last week, my Bishop pulled me aside to extend to me a calling, to ask me to serve in our congregation. I had thought this was coming soon, but had no idea where I would be asked to serve. I was nervous, but having predicted a calling, I had prayed about it beforehand and decided that I would accept whatever the Bishop asked.
And then it came:
My jaw dropped to the floor. What a huge responsibility, I thought, shaping these little minds and possibly, depending on age, preparing them to make the decision to be baptized. Wow! I wrote in my journal, "I know that as I do my part to prepare, the Lord will magnify my efforts and make it enough. I'm not enough, but He is."
This week, I've had a bit of a struggle with my testimony. I continued to read the scriptures, though, especially the Book of Mormon and was daily reminded that I could not deny its truthfulness. I know that Book of Mormon is a true record, scripture sealed up to the Lord and delivered to us "in due time." The peace and understanding I experience when I read that cannot be replicated or explained any other way.
One afternoon, I opened the Church homepage. One of the stories near the top (here) was announcing the Primary theme for 2016, when I'll be teaching: "I Know the Scriptures are True." And I thought, wow. How amazing. That's the only thing I know right now, but I know it with all my heart. I can teach that.
By yesterday evening, my worries and concerns had resurfaced. I was unsure of my abilities, and thought that maybe I shouldn't have accepted the calling. I arrived to church early this morning to try to talk to a member of the bishopric about it before my calling would be presented to the congregation. I thought I might back out. I did not, and was sustained by the congregation during sacrament meeting. It was pretty scary.
I spent sacrament meeting trying to rapidly assemble my testimony and get back on my feet. A great friend, and one of my former missionaries, was a precious help to me, just like she was all those months ago. I wrote, "I'm keeping my anchor in the scriptures. I know the scriptures are true, without a doubt." I kept coming back to that, over and over. I knew that. I know that. She reminded me, "That's where it all starts. And I know that will lead to knowledge that the church is true. I don't know how or when, but I promise it will."
Because I only joined the church a year ago, I'd only ever been to Primary once. The bishop told me I could attend Primary before I began teaching to observe and learn how it works a little bit. So today, I attended Sharing Time, the hour with all the children combined, rather than in their separate classrooms. Since it's the last week of the month, the music leader did a fun countdown of the kids' favorite Primary songs. That was so, so wonderful. Leaving Primary, I was again confident that this would be a good thing.
After church, a member of the bishopric found me a gave me a special blessing to begin my calling. This, also, was a great relief and reminder to me. I felt confident in m abilities and God's trust in me to perform this service. This is the Lord's work, and I'm grateful that He trusts me to be a small part of it.
Well, here goes! Primary it is!